She was 20% Dead

The misses took a terrible spill on the weekend. We were out on one of our walks… we love our town… everything is sooo close together that walking makes perfect sense. We walk with friends, we walk with neighbors, we walk to get a beer, we walk to hear good music, we walk to the library, we walk to the farmers market, ok I will stop… bottom line… WE WALK.

As we were crossing the street Miss 1916home took a spill and ground the palms of her hands, her knees and her legs on the road. In an area that sees heavy traffic too. I had to flag traffic to slow down so I could pick her up and carry her to someones front yard. Of all the places to take a spill.

Not wanting to risk infection I took her to the hospital… just a couple of blocks away from us. No…. I didnt make her walk there, I dragged her. JUST KIDDING. We drove! All is OK now… just some BAD scrapes and cuts in the worst places, and she is in a ton of pain now. Skinning the palms of ones hands ranks pretty high on my list of things I dont care for…. like drowning to death in a submarine.

The doctor told us she was 20% dead from losing blood. Apparently this is a new term being used in hospitals around Southern California. The doctor said to us “She was _____ percent dead.” I find it funny since a human being is either A) ALIVE or B) DEAD. There is no such thing as a percentage of being alive or dead, is there? Or is this some sort of new “sympathy card” one can use on others?

MARY: I was 40% dead the other day.
JOHNNY: You were? How come?
MARY: I was sleeping and not awake.
JOHNNY: So technically you were alive the whole time.
MARY: Technically speaking I was.
JOHNNY: Hhhhmmmmm. Well I feel sooooo bad for you!
MARY: Aww, thanks 🙂 You are so sweet. Can you do the dishes?

(sorry for the gruesome image above – its at least 80% sickening to look at)

We hope you are all 100% alive and doing fine and that 2012 brings you good health and happiness!

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